First and foremost, I thought I was putting the Undetected Narcissist to bed and moving on to a new project. I was very mistaken until I watched the movie, “Fair Play,” on Netflix and questioned Chloe Domont’s intentions in writing and directing this film. I realized that millions of people across the globe, including:

• Entertainment Weekly,
• Today,
• Rolling Stone,
• Film Festival Today,
• Cosmopolitan,
• Elle,
• Decider,
• IMDb Pro,
• Vanity Fair,
• Netflix,
• Esquire,
• IndieWire,
• MovieWeb,
• Men’s Health,
• Women’s Health,
• Just Jared,
• Roger-Ebert,
• New York Times,
• ABC News, and
• Sundance Film Festival was clueless and in the dark about reactive abuse.

I could add more names, but I hope I am getting my point across. Everyone was brilliantly gaslighted to believe her narrative, from a victim’s standpoint. Being a mental health professional, I had to speak up because even Chole does not fully grasp or understand herself. I want to help her and all of you. Why? First, everyone needs to learn this stuff before someone gets hurt. We do not teach or educate society about REACTIVE ABUSE. On January 10, 2023, I created a blog post and podcast about this very subject. I am a survivor of reactive abuse, and the character Luke is as well in the movie Fair Play. Therefore, let me briefly explain reactive abuse.

I created a presentation on Reactive Abuse vs. Mutual Abuse. Here are a few sections from that presentation. “Reactive abuse occurs when the victim, which was Luke, reacts to the abuse they are experiencing. At times, the abuse can be physical, verbal, and emotional. The victim snaps and reacts to the abuse. Some people might scream, toss out insults, or even lash out physically at the abuser. The abuser then retaliates by telling the victim that they are, in fact, the abuser. This is a form of gaslighting. Many survivors often ask themselves if they are abusive because of how they react. The truth is that mutual abuse is infrequent, and many experts don’t believe it exists. Furthermore, the power and control dynamics involved in domestic violence would make it nearly impossible for both partners to be abusive.“

“What happens to the brain? When someone is using reactive abuse against a person to make them snap, the person first must realize that they are playing a dangerous game with them. The abuser anticipates that the person will react by snapping instead of rationally responding. Before the person snaps, they can still access their Cortex brain. When a person snaps, they shift into their limbic survival brain and respond by going into flight, fighting, freezing, or fawning. When we snap, we lose our composure and sense of self. There is no rationalization at this point.“

“One of the most common tactics abusers use is to shift blame for the abuse onto the victim. The abuser will claim the victim is the abuser because of the victim’s reaction. The abuser may even attempt to convince the victim that there is nothing worth reacting to and that the victim is overreacting to the abuse (gaslighting). What the victim is experiencing is reactive abuse. Abusers rely on this reactive abuse because it is their proof that the victim is unstable and mentally ill. The abuser will hold these reactions against the victims indefinitely (narcissistic dog whistle). Sometimes, abusers use this reaction as an excuse to go to the police, have the victim arrested, or even file for a protective order of their own against the victim.”

The first article I read to discover Domont’s intentions in creating and writing this film came from Entertainment Weekly, an article written by Maureen Lee Lenker, Published on October 7, 2023. I found it to be very disturbing because of what I know about reactive abuse, gaslighting, toxic behaviors, and some narcissistic traits. “The violence of Luke’s actions propel Emily to the film’s disturbing conclusion, where she holds Luke at knifepoint and forces him to say out loud that he is nothing. “The way that Emily holds him accountable is in a brutal, ugly way,” Domont notes. “But Luke is the first one to reclaim that power through physical force and physical abuse that opens a whole can of ugliness. Emily tries to use her words in that final scene to confront him, but this is a man who refuses to be held accountable on any single level. If she wants to hold him accountable, she’s going to have to use the same physical force that he used against her.”

Ultimately, the scene isn’t about revenge, Domont points out. “It’s about getting this man to own up to his inferiority because his inability to face that causes so much destruction in the film for both her and himself,” she says. “This isn’t really a film about female empowerment. This is a film about male fragility. The whole film builds up to that last line where she forces him to finally acknowledge that he’s nothing.”

“We’re all afraid to talk about it because the male ego feels like something that is off limits,” the director concludes. “Women are taught to walk on eggshells trying to protect it. The reason why I made this film is because I had been experiencing these situations over and over again in relationships, and it was never anything that we could talk about. It got to a place that felt untenable for me emotionally because if you don’t talk about it, you normalize it. And when you normalize it, it creates this poison not only in your own body but in the relationship and that bond.”

Before I begin unpacking the patterns and cycle of reactive abuse, I need to do this is for you, Chloe Domont. (I am sorry, I forgive you, I love you, and thank you unpacked.)

I am sorry that you experienced heartache and confusion when it came to deciding what was more important to you – love or career. I hope you will forgive me for revealing this truth to the world. My intention is to prevent domestic violence, not condone it. I am sorry that you kept meeting the same types of men and created this pattern of expectation, which sabotages any and all romantic relationships.

With that said, I forgive you for deceiving millions of people because it granted me this opportunity to shine my light on a subject that left everyone in the dark. I hope you will be able to forgive me because I am hoping that by shining a light upon your movie, it might explain some of the triggers, behaviors, patterns, expectations, and reactive responses displayed within the Fair Play movie. You might learn something about yourself that was kept within the shadows.

I love you because you have passion, fire, depth, strength, and courage. Writing and creating this movie must have been therapeutic for you. That can be so empowering and rewarding. This is self-care and personal growth. Just like what Luke was trying to obtain but was shot down repeatedly. Yet, it was not a positive reflection designed to empower women. It was destructive and this can damage many lives when they do not truly understand trauma, reactive abuse vs. mutual abuse, how to spot a toxic relationship, and what is considered sexual assault.

Lastly, I thank you for supporting me in educating and teaching the world about reactive abuse vs. mutual abuse. I want to end the world’s pain and suffering. So, your movie is an educational gift to the world. I pray that one day you will forgive me. Plus, you might learn a few things about yourself, which you can take to an uplifting positive enlightened friend or mental health professional to discuss. Complaining and feeling like a victim only keeps you trapped within the victim mindset. Bless you, Chloe Domont.

Since I am a survivor of reactive abuse, I want to share what I took away from watching the movie Fair Play. I want to teach you to see and hear what I gathered from this movie. Then, I dare you to watch this movie again from a more realistic perspective after the gaslighting and rose-colored tinted glasses have been removed from your eyes.

First, the title of the movie speaks volumes when you can grasp the concept of reactive abuse. Falling in love, being engaged, or in a healthy relationship should never be considered a game or tit-for-tat. That was my first red flag. The writer/director is telling a story from her perspective, and Emily is not the authentic/genuine victim in this story. Luke is the authentic and genuine victim. He was considered the good guy for a big part of the movie. He was supportive and proud of her success; he did not hide his love for her when Emily met his family; he did not want to hide it from his employer or certain coworkers because she meant everything to him.

He said, “I fucking love you so much.” He even said, “I wish we could tell the whole world,” before going to work with Emily. The next red flag was how Emily left the engagement ring on the table before leaving for work. By doing this, she is hiding her authentic self and masking herself to be someone else – a woman in love and happily engaged. Personally, I thought people were done masking because millions of people are coming out of the closet and embracing their authentic selves.

Luke also knows that Emily enjoys taking risks. Danger turns her on, and she loves having risky sex with him. The use of Emily’s words, actions, and behaviors also speaks volumes as I unpack this movie. It is crystal clear throughout the movie that Emily loves hot, passionate, rough, and dirty sex. She likes to fuck instead of making love. I guess Emily rarely enjoys making love because she seems to have an avoidant attachment style, and getting too close to someone is scary for her. Therefore, she will self-sabotage the relationship. I also realize that Luke is not a good match when it comes to sex and Emily’s stress response cycle. Let me unpack this for everyone because you might learn a lot about yourself and your partner.

Emily craves sex when she is stressed out; it helps her complete the stress cycle. So, for Emily, sex and stress are her “let’s get nasty” start switch button. Luke is the exact opposite. He shuts down, and in order for him to have sex with Emily, there must be an emotional connection first. Then, if he proceeds, it must be slow, romantic, sweet, sensual, and uplifting. He cannot do the wham-bam-thank you, mam. Since neither Luke nor Emily knows about their start and stop-buttons, this can cause extreme sexual tension.

We saw this fact several times in the movie. Also, content can change a person’s start or stop buttons. Context means having a baby, money worries, changing your career, becoming unemployed, having a death in the family, experiencing or witnessing a trauma, or having a family crisis.

Plus, since Emily has experienced this several times in the past with previous lovers, she will most likely anticipate being rejected and, therefore, automatically go into the reactive abuse tactics. I highly recommend reading or listening to the book “Come As You Are.” You will learn a great deal about yourself and your partner. Let’s move on.

So, let’s be honest here, Emily repeatedly said throughout the movie, “Fuck me hard!” and Luke wanted to make love. This does not work for Luke when Emily uses her body, looks, and sex appeal as a weapon against him to get him to submit. Yet when her game of manipulation no longer works on Luke, the tension within the relationship escalates out of control.

Next, the company Emily and Luke work for is run by a man who treats his employees as if they are disposable pawns. Their only purpose in that company is to make Mr. Campbell millions and billions of dollars. Then Emily overhears that Luke is going to make PM. When Emily shared the news with Luke, he was excited. Yet, again, Luke said, “If I had to choose between you or the promotion, I would choose you.”

We all know Emily did not feel the same way towards Luke because, to her, it was fair play. Not choosing love over your career or money. What mattered more to Emily was status, money, power, and her position within the company. Luke was all about love, commitment, being together openly in public, and being proud to be engaged to Emily.

Throughout the movie, we see how Campbell does not respect Emily’s boundaries and willingly keeps pushing them constantly. Why? Because he knows Emily does not know how to set healthy boundaries with other people. She could do what I do at night: I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and only accept emergency phone calls from certain family members or friends. Yet, when Luke tells her that she doesn’t have to answer the phone at 2:00 am, Emily responds, “I have to,” when in fact, she does not.

Now I know the way the movie was spun was to make Luke appear jealous. I felt that Luke was 100% sincere in his responses to Emily getting the PM position. Luke said, “I am so happy for you.” Yet, I could see that Emily was mournful and full of sorrow. Why? In that scene at the bar with Luke, I knew that Emily was going to sabotage the relationship. She was anticipating Luke’s future reactions and responses based on her relationship patterns and history. Remember, abusers respond in the same exact fashion and pattern. When you expect someone to react a certain way and manner, The abuser will play the manipulation game to set them up by baiting, plotting, and undermining.

As we move on, Emily’s attire changes once she is promoted. The next day at work, she is wearing an open blouse; the buttons reveal her cleavage, and the blouse is sheer and seductive in nature. I have an image above that shows her blouse buttoned down to her braw line and look at her face. It appears rather smug and superior over her male counterparts. She appears to be the only female in the office, so attire means everything. Especially since her male counterparts talk trash about women, including Emily, behind her back. As the movie progresses, you can see how Emily puts on the power play status with the men. I could clearly see Emily’s personality changing before my eyes, and Luke was concerned. This was a red flag.

Emily wants to help Luke get promoted as well, but Luke does not want to ruin someone’s life to get promoted. He has seen how Campbell treats his employees. Luke has compassion and cares about other people’s feelings. He is not intentionally out to sabotage another person for his benefit or gain in his career or life. Luke has integrity. The approach Emily was plotting lacked integrity because she was willing to undermine her coworkers to promote Luke. It’s a nasty power play people overlooked. This was another relationship red flag.

We all quickly learn how Campbell thinks and feels about Luke. He was a charity case. Campbell already has deep pockets of greed and power. In my professional and personal opinion, Campbell is a sad, cold, pathetic man. Luke is clearly a better man than Campbell because he strives to be a better man by working on himself. He wants to reclaim his life by changing his perception and narrative of what is true for him. Yet, Emily comes home drunk, and she calls the motivational speaker, Robert Bynes, an asshole. His honesty offends her distorted values and beliefs about reclaiming one’s identity. Emily thinks it’s a waste of time and money, but any self-improvement and empowerment is never a waist when one applies the teaching to one’s daily life. Expressing that self-improvement is a waste of time and money is another red flag.

Now, things get dark here, which I must unpack. Emily tries to seduce Luke. He says no, it’s late. Emily does not take no for an answer and says, “Well, then I guess I’ll just have to lie here and fuck myself.” This scene clearly shows how sex is used as a power play and a weapon because Luke is not in the mood and is tired. He kissed her forehead and said, “Okay, good night.” I would do the same thing. In fact, I would hand Emily a bottle of lube. The real issue is Luke wants an emotional connection with Emily because he needs that emotional connection, which has been lacking in their relationship since she got promoted. Currently, he seeking answers to improve himself in his career. Therefore, sex is not checking the right boxes for him.

Let’s reverse the rolls here. It is common to see men in movies sexually abusing and assaulting women. How many women have had their man come home sloppy drunk, and they try to sexually force themselves upon you, and you say no? How many women will eventually give in because they are afraid of being verbally abused, given the silent treatment the next day, or gaslighted into believing they are a frigid, cold, on the rag… I could go on with the words men chose to cut down their women, but this is exactly the path Luke finds himself walking down each time he says no to Emily’s sloppy, drunk sexual advances.

My son made this comment after I read him this section, “Those who think that woman can’t sexually abuse men are clueless. To me, that is the equivalent of telling a woman to wash the dishes. This is simply because of the societal constructs and gender roles we place upon a woman and a man. There is such a thing as discrimination against men, and it is called misandry. (Proposed examples of misandry in popular culture include frequent portrayals of men as absent, insensitive, or abusive, as well as a legal process that discriminates against men in divorce proceedings or in cases of domestic or sexual violence where a victim is a man.)” God, I love my son and the wisdom he is obtaining at such a young age.

Since Luke is not giving in to Emily’s sexual advances, you can see how she begins to flirt with Campbell. This is very unprofessional and childish. You can see her laughing and touching Campbell as they talk behind clear glass-plated walls. In my opinion, she is asking for trouble. You don’t see the men behaving in such a manner with Campbell. What Emily is really doing is love-bombing Campbell, and Luke sees it. It disturbs him because Emily is changing in a manner that is risky and offensive to their engagement/relationship. Another red flag.

Why Emily’s seductive behavior at work is so damaging is it can change Luke’s secure attachment style to anxious and that is exactly what Emily wants. Then she has a legitimate reason to justify why Luke appears jealous, insecure, and anxious all the time. I unpacked a similar series on Netflix called Love is Blind, Season Three. The relationship between Cole and Zanab. At the end of this movie, you will see how Luke went from a secure attachment to an avoidant after being in a relationship with Emily.

It becomes apparent to me that Emily now sees Luke as an object, just her analysis, instead of her fiancee. It is heartbreaking to watch her transformation. I can tell that Luke is offended but keeps his mouth shut.

Luke and Emily knew they were breaking company policy, but she wanted to tell them before someone found out. Even Emily’s mom said, “Work can wait; stop hiding. It’s not every day you get engaged.” Later in the film, Emily has the perfect opportunity to come clean about their engagement and relationship. A coworker observed Emily and Luke speaking to one another, and he said to Emily, “I see how you look at him. You want to fuck him. I won’t tell a soul.” This was the perfect opportunity to come clean. Instead, Emily replies, “I don’t shit where I eat.” Wow! If I heard my fiancee say those words, I would pack my bags and leave. To me, that comment is beyond offensive and insulting, and it means she is above Luke as if he is the “hired help.”

That evening, when Emily comes home, she tries for the second time to seduce Luke. He is not interested. Most people would not be interested. Because Luke is not interested, Emily implies that Luke is bitter-sweet, like the dessert she brought home for him. She notices that Luke has decided to enroll in the self-improvement course and is disappointed. She questions his decision. It is clear to me that she is trying to start a fight.

Fight pattern: First, by not taking her sexual advances. Second, by accusing him of being bittersweet, and lastly, by making him feel bad about wanting to improve himself at work so he could get promoted. It is natural for someone to fight back, and Luke does. He brings up how Emily has issues asserting herself. It was a good tip. He also talks about how appearance is everything. This was positive feedback, not negative. Yet, Emily takes it as an insult. Luke spoke the truth, and Emily hated hearing it. You can see how Luke is distant because he no longer recognizes the woman he fell in love with. Again, red flag.

As the movie continues, there are several more red flags. The biggest red flag for me was when Campbell called Emily a dumb fucking bitch. I am shocked that she stood there and took his “direct in-your-face reactive abuse“. Campbell could clearly see that she froze (your nervous system’s threat response). She slipped from her rational cortex brain into survival mode. So, he continued the abuse her and said, “Yeah you heard that right. You want me to say it again?” This time, he shouted in her face, “Dumb fucking bitch! How’s that? Alright. Good?” Campbell said it loud enough for everyone to hear.

Emily looks down in shame and humiliation. She sucks it up and says nothing. That’s a learned behavior from experiencing verbal reactive abuse used as a weapon of control, dominance, fear, shame-parenting tactics, punishment, and power. It could have been from a teacher, parent, family member, narcissistic best friend, or someone she admired who wounded her so deeply. So, she did what most people do who admire this asshole.

Sorry for swearing. This whole movie is full of swear words. My grandmother would have to buy another bar of soap to clean out my mouth. And yes, I must use humor here because talking about abuse, narcissism, and domestic violence is such an unpleasant subject matter. If we cannot laugh once in a while, then there is no point in living because one is already dead inside.

Moving on, we see Emily panics because she wants to prove her worth. She clearly struggles with self-esteem issues, standing up for herself, and self-respect. I would have walked away and packed up my stuff. Some might be passive-aggressive and make him lose another 20 to 30 million. Then are some that would snap and say, “Yes, I am a dumb fucking bitch because I work for an insecure, short, weak, pathetic little man. Without your wealth, you would be nothing. Such a sad, lonely little man.” If someone said those words to Campbell’s face, it would feel so darn good. Your career would be over, but at least you spoke the truth. I would give you a high five!

Instead, she beats herself up because she feels worthless inside. We see Luke walk in as he tries to comfort her because he wants her to stop beating herself up. When Emily gets home late, Luke is reading. Emily is so frustrated that she pushes herself again onto Luke, demanding they fuck. Again, this is reactive abuse. Emily said, “We need to fuck.” The point is she needs to fuck to feel alive and important. Luke doesn’t. He implies that he is not in the mood. It is clear that Emily does not take no for an answer, and this time, it becomes sexual assault. Emily says, “We need to fuck the shit out of each other right now.”

Again, Luke is not in the mood. He wants to make love, to have this deep emotional connection with Emily. Yet Emily wants it hard, fast, rough, and dirty. Luke tries to get Emily to slow down by softly kissing her, but her mood and negative attitude ruin the moment when she says, “Are you going to fuck the shit out of me? I want you to fuck me so hard. I need you to fuck the shit out of me.” Remember roll reversal. Many women give in to avoid getting physically hurt or raped. This is sexual assault, everyone.

Now, let’s go even deeper here. What is considered sexual assault? “Some forms of sexual assault include attempted rape; fondling or unwanted sexual touching; forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex. Approximately eight out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim, such as in the case of intimate partner sexual violence.

Before we move on, I need to address direct and indirect sexual assault in my opinion. Direct sexual assault is physical contact. Indirect sexual assault is the verbal and psychological mental head games. Emily is masterful with her choice of let’s get down and dirty verbal comments, but Luke still does not take the bait. I am proud of you, Luke! Let’s move on.

As you can see in the movie, Luke doesn’t want to fuck, and he struggles with getting an erection. He is confused and upset. He is hurting inside. Luke must realize their engagement and intimate relationship is falling apart before his eyes. Then Campbell calls her at 12:00 am, right after they tried to have sex. Luke wants her to set healthy boundaries with Campbell, but she is now his puppet. This is another red flag.

The celebration at the stripper club was a major red flag. I loved the song by Just a Gent. In fact, I love all his music, yet the conversation the men had about women was extremely offensive. Emily plays cool while the men continue to bash women, and eventually, she becomes one of the boys. When she calls the stripper over and says, “Let’s get some fucking ass,” I mean, where did the professional class go?

Again, Emily comes home sloppy drunk and tells Luke a repulsive story about how a brother was set up to have blind sex with his sister. The story was disturbing enough, but laughing and finding it funny is just sick and twisted, in my opinion. Emily has zero compassion for the boy, sister, and entire family. Nobody should be laughing at someone’s trauma story, but Emily does. This shocks and repulses Luke. She was never like this at the beginning of their relationship. If she were, he would not have asked her to marry him. Again, self-sabotage, yet Emily cannot see it. She projects all her issues upon Luke by using abuse-reactive gaslight tactics.

Now, Luke feels completely disconnected from their relationship. He might feel like he made a mistake in asking her to get married. When Luke doesn’t find the disgusting story of incest funny, Emily says, “Christ, have a fucking sense of humor.” Then she says, “Jesus, you so stiff.”

He is in shock, and he froze. He is traumatized by Emily’s inability to feel any emotions of compassion, forgiveness, horror, tears, or heartache for the brother and sister when the bag is removed from the brother’s head. Having zero emotions is a dangerous sign because Emily’s mask slipped off in front of Luke’s eyes. Now he knows who she is, what she is, and how she views the world, people, love, marriage, her career…everything has been distorted to trap Luke into this abusive relationship of cat and mouse.

Emily knows she has now exposed her true nature, so she needs to save face. A toxic person or someone who appears to be a narcissist will use the secret weapon of love bombing, and for Emily, it’s sex. So again, she pushes herself on him. Luke says, “Don’t, Emily.” Everyone can see the sexual assault once one can notice the patterns. Emily responds, “I want it. Are you going to make me beg?” Again, Luke says, “Don’t, Emily, stop.” Then she pervertly says, “I promise to help your career if you eat my pussy.” Then she laughs. Luke says you are drunk and walks away. Because Emily feels rejected again, she calls Luke pathetic, triggering a reaction out of Luke.

Now Luke snaps – reactive abuse activated and achieved. This is their first major fight. He says, “Does that make you feel good? Powerful?” He is disgusted by how she lowered herself and her self-respect to “fit in” because she has become one of the boys. Clearly, Emily doesn’t like to hear the truth.

I must jump ahead because I could spend hours unpacking this psychological domestic violence movie. I want to talk about Luke’s confession to the man he considered God, but in reality, he is truly the Devil. There is even one part in the movie where Emily confesses, “It’s just a game!” and Luke replies, “You play it really well.”

As we all know, Luke spoke his truth to the Devil, and Campbell’s lack of compassion, sympathy, and zero emotions shattered Luke’s reality. Everything he ever wanted in life was shattered in that moment. How and why? What he believed and thought he wanted in life no longer aligned with who he was as a person. He put his faith, loyalty, hopes, and dreams into the wrong person and company. He realized Campbell would never feed him positive praise, mentor, or inspire him to greatness. Campbell was already full of himself and would gladly sacrifice any of his employees by placing them on the chopping block.

Then Campbell introduces Luke to his new replacement, Derek. The guy who brought his last company within a quarter, not a year, 90 million. To write this scene was truly a magical display of how some people are born into darkness and are created out of darkness. I know I have said in the past that we humans create narcissistic people, but I must stand corrected. There are some people who are just plain born dark and evil, like Campbell. I am not a religious person, but I have learned about this truth just recently.

Let’s jump ahead some more. I hope everyone will watch this movie again. The song playing, “I Got a Heart Full of Love” is about Luke. Luke must listen to soulful music to feel some sort of emotional connection. He is drowning inside and doesn’t like how he feels when he is disconnected from everything around him. Therefore, the song play is not about Emily because Luke does have a heart and Emily’s heart is stone cold by now.

In this scene, Luke’s dreams, career, future with Emily, and reality have all been shattered into tiny pieces. He idolized the wrong man. Everything he loved, valued, and cherished was all a delusion and fantasy. Then you hear the song, “What to Do”. It’s the perfect song because Luke doesn’t know what to do. That is when he wants his notes from his self-empowerment book, but Emily considers his notes as trash. Luke explodes because those notes are important to him.

Again, there is more reactive abuse because Emily and Luke are two completely different people. One is connected to love, compassion, kindness, understanding, reasoning, and cooperation. The other is disconnected and uses force to control, manipulate, play games with other emotions, and knows how to dominate another. They are now polar opposites.

When they fight, you can clearly see the spite, anger, and rage within Emily. Luke is so confused because her mask is 100% off; still, he cannot logically reason with Emily. We even hear Emily say, “Who are you?” Luke is finally in his place of power and truly sees that he is just a doormat to Emily’s abuse tactics.

That is when Luke responds, “Who the fuck are you, Emily. You’re the one catering to an old man every night. Do you think he would ask Paul or Tova to talk to him until 2:00 am in the morning? NO! He asked you because he knows you can’t say no, and that makes you weak. Every time you answer, you’re letting him walk all over you.”

Emily hates the truth and uses more reactive abuse by saying, “The only man I let walk all over me is you!” This was her own projection of what she was doing to Luke and, of course, a lie. I could go on, but I hope during their fight and display of reactive abuse, you can now clearly see who the abuser and victim are. Especially when Emily puts her fingers by her head and says, “Are you serious?” Implying that Luke is now crazy. The only crazy one in this scene is Emily. Then Luke goes into even more reactive abuse mode, speaking his truth and finally breaking something on the floor out of frustration.

Luke walks out of the apartment because he cannot handle any more abuse. He is trying to find some sense of control over this uncontrollable traumatizing, baiting, projecting, and undermining situation. And of course, Emily does what she always does. She grabs some alcohol to numb her emotions. We have seen her doing this same behavior throughout the movie since she got promoted. Another red flag is you ask me.

Now, I need to cut to the chase because this whole movie is a game – the rape scene. Emily has sexually assaulted Luke four or five times, and each time, her mannerisms and behavior get worse. She has been begging Luke to fuck her hard and to fuck the shit out of her.

When Luke finally snapped, he gave her exactly what she asked for. I know many people will hate me for speaking this truth, but we all saw it and heard it. When they finally had sex, it was mutual abuse. Here is my logic. Both of them were sexually frustrated and needed to release the stress cycle. When Luke was giving it to Emily, hard and rough as she demanded several times, I did not once see or hear Emily beg for mercy. She did not suggest changing sexual positions or screaming for help. I did not see her genuinely cry in pain or try to force Luke off of her. She had many options to fight back, and she didn’t because she knew the patterns of when a man snaps. Therefore, she let him have his way with her – mutual abuse, not rape. I know, shock value. Just hear me out.

In my opinion, it does not become rape when you never tried to sexually assault your partner in the past when they denied you sexual gratification. I understand that no means no. Yet, Luke was not able to access his logical, reasoning cortex brain. He was psychologically abused to the point that he only reacted and responded in a manner that went against his true nature. He never wanted to fuck Emily or even hurt her. He just wanted to make sweet love to her, but Emily doesn’t like sweet lovemaking. She wants hard, rough, risk-taking, fuck my brains out sex. He was pushed over the edge. Emily was 100% aware of what she did. Then, she turns around and plays the victim. This is wrong!

I felt so bad for Luke, not Emily. Anyone can hate me, and I don’t care. I am just telling you what I see and know coming from a domestic violence standpoint. Yes, Luke was wrong. He should have walked away, but he wanted to kiss her sweetly and calm Emily down. Things escalated and got way out of control. That is why I say it was mutual abuse, not rape.

For example, in the past, I have had wild sex and got rug burns on my back. That was not abuse but mutual abuse because I knew the skin on my back was becoming raw. Did I tell my man to stop fucking me? Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. When I did say let’s stop, I suggested we try another position. But why did I sometimes say No? Here is why – because the sex felt fucking good! Did I accuse my man of raping me after we had sex or desire to grab a knife and make him bleed like I was bleeding? The answer is NO! I smile and say it was worth it. The sex was amazing! Then I ask my man to grab a band-aid and put some antibiotic cream on my boo-boo.

Lastly, when Luke faces the reality that he now has identity erosion, he knows he has to leave New York. He must do some serious self-care and create a whole new life for him in California. Being with Emily made him lose his composure and sense of self when he snapped and fucked her in the bathroom. He is mournful, and sad, but is solution-oriented. Narcissistic people are not solution-oriented unless it is self-serving.

He must leave Emily or she will continue to destroy him. Therefore, in the final scene, he is trying to be nice about it – like we both played the villain and victim to each other (mutual abuse). Yet, Emily is not satisfied. A narcissistic person is never satisfied because NOBODY can leave them. Emily MUST reject him first to save face and feel powerful. Her ego, fear of rejection, abandonment, and not being good enough are staring her in the face. She can’t psychologically handle it, so she becomes obsessed with destroying Luke’s fragile ego and sense of self even more.

I know it is twisted, but it’s true. When I left my son’s father I was told that was the biggest mistake I made. I should have let him believe that he was the one leaving ME. Because of that mistake, he spent five years and $100,000 in legal fees to destroy me. Just read my book, The Undetected Narcissist.

As you all know by now, the ending was morally and ethically wrong. Nobody deserves to be treated that way, especially Luke. I hope my clarification makes sense. We have all done things we are not proud of. That is why we need to be open and honest about sex, generational trauma, shame and family secrets, relationships, love, and much, much more. Chloe is right. We do need to talk. Because I feel sorry for all those men that Emily has dated in the past. Psychological abuse can take a person months or years to fully recover. Some people never really recover and become temporarily narcissistic themselves.

Thank you for reading or listening to the powerful hypnotic look into reactive abuse Fair Play movie. I truly hope that sharing my perspective will change millions or billions of people’s perspectives about the REAL meaning behind the Fair Play movie.