Why we all need self-care

Many people wonder why self-care is selfish. When I think about self-care, I like to think outside the box. Therefore, when someone tells you that self-care is selfish, that person either has a hidden agenda, wants you to get burnt out, or really doesn’t care about you. I am not trying to be mean, but if you thought of someone nurturing and caring, if they saw you struggling, they would encourage you to take a break. They don’t want you to get injured because you are physically here, but mentally and emotionally depleted. We all do not do our best thinking or communicating when we are exhausted. That’s why I decided to create this blog post of why we all need self-care.

While I was relaxing in bed, watching television, I realized that several people might be confused about self-care. Why? There are numerous things a person can do throughout their day that is considered self-care. Therefore, I want to unpack the list thirty daily self-care actives the majority of people do on a regular basis.

Take a shower or bath
Brush your teeth and get your teeth professionally cleaned
Comb, style, or brush your hair
Shave or get a haircut
Beauty mask or facial
Nails painted
Put clean sheets on your bed
Buy a cup of coffee
Text a friend on your phone
Watch TV
Hangout with friends and watch a sporting event
Ride a bike, surf, hike, walk, ski, Frisby golf, soccer, or other sports
Binge watch Netflix, Hulu, Apple+ TV, or
Treat yourself to some ice cream or dessert
Dress up nice and go out to dinner
Snuggle on the coach and watch a movie
Go to the movies
Play, talk, snuggle, or pet an animal
Listen to music in your car or at work
Listen to an audiobook or podcast
Read a book
Meditate
Clean your house and clear the clutter
Take a nap
Play a video game or watch YouTube videos
Chill and go on social media
Paint or draw
Journal
Go to bed on time
Buy a plant or flowers for your home

Why self-care is NOT being selfish?

What I find so interesting is that most men would complain that self-care is selfish, BUT they are the ones who take advantage of it all the time. For example, some men are addicted to video games. They could play with a buddy online, within a guild or group. Playing video games can eat up hours of self-care time. Others are addicted to sports, attending sporting events, hunting, playing pool, jogging, playing cards, riding a motorcycle, mountain biking, surfing, backpacking, camping, and all the other things men enjoy. Some men fight and argue when they cannot have their “Man cave time.” And don’t get me wrong, they deserve it. We all deserve it. That is why self-care is NOT being selfish. Everyone deserves to do what makes their hearts sing, within reason, which means not hurting another human being, animal, personal property, or plant. And the list does not include robbing a bank or being chased by the police for fun. Why we all need self-care is it allows us time to decompress? It’s a beautiful mini distraction from the stressors of life.

Self-care time with another person or animal allows us to reconnect to who we are. Life is about connection, and it feels great to like we belong, are needed, necessary, and validated. Even asking your partner how your day was, and giving them a hug and kiss, is a form of self-care for both parties. Because it feels good to stop and connect. To know someone cares about you. If you no longer feel these positive feelings with your partner, it might be time to take a mini vacation. Even married couples still need to have a date night. It is recommended that couples who are married or in a relationship go out at least two or three times a week and take a vacation alone at least once a year. I know this can be hard for couples with children, but your connection and commitment to one another are just as important. Couples can grow apart when they do not take time for each other. They no longer know anything about one another because the focus was solely on raising the children and not keeping the slow-burning one another a flame. As a result, the flame burns out, and the children leave the nest.

Why your home is your sanctuary

As you can see from the image above, this dude has so many self-care tools inside his home. It clearly shows why your home is your sanctuary. He has several games, plants, a TV, a book, and a guitar. His feet are up on the coffee table, and he will binge-watch Netflix. So ask yourself this question, how often do you take a break and relax? What could you put inside your house to make it feel extra welcoming and inviting? Lastly, when was the last time you treated yourself? This dude could have ordered takeout or a pizza. Instead, he might drink a cold beer and wait for his honey or roommates to come home.