I have taught and coached my clients using the Map Your Emotions for Self Regulation for ten years. This week I was in a class, and we talked about what can be our contribution to this world. Teaching you how to use the consciousness map to learn more about yourself and others is vital for an open heart and effective communication. That is WHY I can connect and communicate with “some” narcissistic people. I will not work with a covert narcissist because, from their perspective, there is nothing wrong with them. And they are correct because they are designed to teach us how not to treat another living human being. I now know the difference between narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and a covert narcissist (CN). It took me a long time to learn, and that’s okay. In using the map of consciousness, I had to practice it, embody it, and then become it. Now it is WHO I AM. This is a new way of coaching and communicating using the map of your emotions for self-regulation, and it is something I CREATED. I have never heard of another human being coming up with this tool or concept of using the Map of Consciousness to regulate your emotions. So, if you are a therapist or anyone working with clients, please tell them that this concept came from me. It was shown to me and given to me by Divine Love to support the growth and evolution of humanity back in 2011. It took me a year of listening, mastering, and then using it with my clients. I have many clients that can back this TRUTH, so please be respectful of this gift. Much of the information you will read comes from a place of Divine Love, and this material on my website is copyright protected. Let’s move on.
Many therapists and marriage counselors say there are 3 to 5 keys to your best marriage. One of those keys is COMMUNICATION. Therefore, I want to educate and teach you how to use the Map of Conscious for self-reflection, open communication, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. In this podcast or blog post, I will teach you something most narcissists already know about people who are not narcissistic. A narcissist is very self-aware of others and their surroundings because they were taught these skills by another narcissist and learned them through life experiences for their survival—a narcissistic is hypervigilant, meaning they live life from a place of increased alertness. When someone is in a state of hypervigilance, you’re extremely sensitive to your surroundings. When hyper-vigilant, you can have an exaggerated fear of danger seen with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other anxiety, mood, or personalities. That is why the following careers sometimes need someone who is very self-aware because they can save a life. There are first responders, soldiers, and doctors. The narcissistic people in the following careers are concerning, such as politics, some religious leaderships, corporate management like big pharma, finance, and the military.
I like to educate people on using the Map of Consciousness for self-reflection and self-empowerment. We have a relationship with people, but we also have a relationship with ourselves. Our bodies are and will be your oldest companion. You cannot trade it in for a younger model. Therefore, establishing and creating a healthy form of positive communication with ourselves is vital. If are are feeling stuck in thoughts and feelings that are below the energy level of 200, I would suggest doing whatever it takes to raise yourself up. You can watch cute kittens or puppies playing to raise yourself up. There is music, dancing, inspirational speakers, watching or listening to something with comedy in it, exploring nature, and human connection.
You can use the map of consciousness to gauge a person’s energy level. Using the map of consciousness, you can learn through practice how to raise them up vibrationally from your wisdom and vibrational set point. You can also learn how to listen to your own intuition, and become self aware to better support you when you are dealing with difficult people. If you have ever tried to communicate with an emotionally charge person or a narcissist, you know it can be scary and challenging. Words are powerful. They can build a person up, support life and even destroy a person’s life. A person can use their words as a weapon, which can back fire on them. I want to empower you with this wisdom today that has supported hundreds of people. First, I need to unpack this information because each part is important. Therefore, I am being guided to teach you that each part of this blog post is like a beautiful tapestry. One part of the tapestry is…
- The map of emotions
- LOVE coming from a higher perspective and what is Love
- Heart centered communication
- Self awareness, and
Every part of this beautiful tapestry is woven together to create heart opened, self awareness, connected COMMUNICATION with yourself and others.
What is the Map of Consciousness? David R. Hawkins conducted more than 250,000 calibrations during 20 years of research. Hawkins focus was to define a range of values, attitudes, and emotions that correspond to levels of human consciousness. This range of values-along with a logarithmic scale of 1 to 1,000. This became the Map of Consciousness. To view the actually Map of Consciousness, go to the following link to David R. Hawkins website. The image above is not the actual Map of Consciousness, but a modification in which I was granted permission to display within this blog post.
The map of consciousness was developed via kinesiology. What is Kinesiology? Kinesiology is muscle testing. Dr. Hawkins’ research discovered that man’s kinesiologic response to stimulus conveyed a capacity to differentiate not only positive from negative stimuli, but truth from falsity. I saw this test performed once. In one sealed envelope was raw sugar and another aspartame. The test subject would hold out their arm and hold the envelope. The instruction would tell the test subject to make your arm strong and I will press down on it. When the test subject was holding the raw sugar, their arm stayed strong. When the test subject held the aspartame envelope, their arm went down. They could not hold their arm up. Raw sugar was truth (it supports the human body) and aspartame was false (it is toxic to the human body).
You might be wondering what is the highest level on the map of consciousness. The highest level would be a mystical or spiritual experience. If you have ever meditated or had a spiritual/mystical experience, you might be mystified in how to explain it. Your third eye can open up and you can see things with your eyes closed. You can feel a vibration of energy around you that is warm and loving, and you can even hear a soft buzzing in your ears or your higher consciousness giving you guidance. Whenever I have had a deep mystical experience, it always feel so blessed. They can be exhausting and exhilarating at the same time.
For example when I was writing the introduction for The Undetected Narcissist, I did have a mystical experience. All these insights and perspectives about having love, compassion, wisdom, and forgiveness flowed into my mind. I was told that a narcissist is not born, we as humans create them. That thought never entered my mind before and it awakened something inside of me. I want to create a world of peace, cooperation, and kindness, but it starts with me. Me telling our story and sharing this wisdom with you today. In that moment of clarity, it was as if something with much more wisdom and knowledge was softly whispering to me to get out of bed and write down the wisdom, and grace I was receiving. I was up and down for hours. Taking notes, quieting my mind again, listening, and then taking more notes. Some writer’s call this writer’s magic. I have had this experience many times when working with clients, creating recordings, and writing the blog posts.
Now, I know some people reading this blog post or others that will listen to the podcast will have different religious backgrounds and for some, the word “spiritual or religious” can be triggering. I respect everyone’s spiritual and religious beliefs. Religion has transformed people’s lives and ruined people’s lives. I know and understand. I want to talk about LOVE. In order to be in alignment with love, one might need to let go of past fears, information from others, find forgiveness for themselves and others, as well as discover what love means to you. Many people do not talk about love. For most of us growing up, love was not unconditional. You might of had to earn someone’s love and affection. Love could have been painful and scary because it was unfamiliar. When using the map of consciousness, LOVE is at level 500 and to stay in alignment with it, you might need to change your perspective about LOVE.
I come from a belief/faith, and spiritual calling that we are ALL ONE. The light in you is the light in me and we are ONE. After healing from narcissistic abuse, I know the narcissistic people in my life have been my greatest teacher of LOVE. It took me a lot to come to terms with this concept because I was stuck in hate and anger. Love is unconditional, embraces EVERYONE, forgiving, wise, compassionate, and uplifting. So, if the Christian faith speaks to you, great. If you have another religious belief, fantastic. I just wish whatever religion a person follows, it is one that does not segregate people, yet EMBRACES everyone. Everyone’s skin color, background, beliefs, sexual preferences, friendships, financial situation, and status is welcome. Love connects us all, when we allow love into our hearts.
Just recently a person that was coaching me, asked if I coach and if so, what is my coaching style? I told her that my coaching style is to get a person from point A to point B. I am not a life coach. I am a wellness and self-empowerment coach. I then told her that I have coached people that have different religious views and one of my favorite clients to coach is a Catholic nun. This beautiful nun considers me her spiritual advisor and savior because we have had deep conversations about religion, spiritualty, love, how we treat one another, trauma, forgiveness, and being of service.
We actually met today and I read to her this blog post and how I was going to talk about her. Her face beamed with joy because she knows how powerful tool can be. What you are going to learn today, saved her life. She said, “When I first met you I was afraid that maybe this was not the right thing to do. I questioned if I did something wrong in the eyes of God after I saw you the first time. Religion makes you question or fear the kind of work you do. BUT after seeing you the first time and how you touched my heart when I was in such a dark place, I knew it was not wrong. In all my seeking for help, my faith led me to you. You were recommended by so many people, but this stigma held me back for a while. There were too many signs that I need to see you. When I was back at the parish and waiting in line for prayer, I was guided by spirit to turn around. I walked out of the room and stood outside the door, where nobody could see me. That is when the holly spirit filled me such divine light and love. My body was being flooded with such love and wisdom as I reflected on meeting you for the first time. It lasted for 10 to 15 minutes. I just stayed in the presence of divine love and that same love I felt in that moment is the same love that exudes and speaks to you. I knew then in my heart and soul that how you support people is coming from a place of love, not what religion wants me to believe. You are becoming a saint.” When she shared this story with me, my heart over flowed with love. She knows I am being called to lift everyone up because I cannot do it alone. We have to join together. When I Google, what is becoming a saint mean, this is what I found. “Most people use the word “saint” to refer to someone who is exceptionally good or “holy.” In the Catholic Church, however, a “saint” has a more specific meaning: someone who has led a life of “heroic virtue.”
This nun is the main reason you are reading this blog post and listening to me now. Because she came to me when she had PTSD in 2020 and at the same time, I was recovering from narcissistic abuse. I was ready to quit my job and accept defeat. She believes Love brought us together to heal each other and we did. I am very grateful she came into my life and helped me remember my true nature and purpose in this world. I dedicated my book to her. She and I feel my book, my words, my heart, and voice will help shift this world coming from a place of hate, war, deception and fear. Awakening the masses to step out of the darkness and into the light. We all say we want a world of love, peace, and compassion, BUT it has to start with us. We have to change and since we create narcissistic people, we NEED to accept responsibility for that TRUTH. Stop blaming, pointing fingers, and fearing one another. That is why I want to teach you how to become consciously aware. Since I am consciously aware, it supports me in becoming that pinhole of light when some has been existing in the dark for years. I use my abilities to support my clients as well as you. Teaching my clients how to use the Map of Consciousness supports them in understanding themselves, people and how to communicate more effectively coming from a place of LOVE.
I want to teach you how to do what I do, when I communicate with people. Teaching you this will better support you in communicating with anyone, especially a narcissist. First I write it all out and then I read it because I want to shift your perspective. Since communicating with someone that is narcissistic is so challenging, I do recommend writing it out first. Write down all the word vomit because this allows you in a healthy way to release all those negative emotions. When you feel that sense of relief and you wiped the word vomit off your sleeve, that is when you are done. Next, let it sit for a day or two. Let those angry emotions settle down. Then come back and read what you wrote. Yet this time, remove the word vomit. Find a way to speak your truth coming from a place of neutrality. Love might be impossible in some situations and that’s okay. Your situation is temporary. Use I statements instead of you. You can either share it with the person you are upset with or if you know it would be a waist of your time and energy, just burn it. Burning your written paper is a positive ceremony of release. Just throwing it away will not give you the same satisfaction and relief your heart needs. And the release can be so healing and therapeutic.
Why do I love writing it out? Some will say that writing is so potent. Because writing is a form of thinking. That is why journaling and writing out your goals is so powerful. You put your thought onto paper and that means something. It is no longer stuffed in the drawers or the corners of your mind. It is there before your eyes and it was meaning and purpose…just like you. Therefore, writing is a particularly powerful form, since those ideas can be re-read not only by you, but by millions of others as well. Writing changes minds. When you can change a person’s mind and perspective, you then can change behavior, and behavior changes lives.
Whenever I coach anyone, I refer to the map of emotions. It helps me gain information and insights to where the person is vibrating emotionally. What I have learned is you can slowly raise a person up from fear (level 100), to desiring (level 125) the possibility of change, up into creating feelings of pride (level 175) if and when they do change, and then supporting them to have the courage (level 200) to change. You can guide them from a place of fear all the way up to a place of power and strength. They are no longer stuck in the lower vibrations of force and feeling weak about their current situation. To review the Map of Consciousness by Dr. Hawkins, please visit their website directly.
I recommend listening to the podcast because I will give you a few life stories of how I used this map of consciousness with clients, friends, and family members as well as how to listen to your intuition. So many of my clients admire my ability to use my intuition. I have told everyone that they already have this ability within them, they just do not realize it. Here is a perfect example. Let’s say you get into a heated conversation and you are ready to use your words to cut into that person. A little voice inside of you, which I like to say is your soul or higher consciousness, will say, “You will regret saying that. If you say that, your relationship will never be the same way again. They are not worth it – you need to rise above their hate and anger. Just walk away. You could get fired for saying that. You will ruin your career if you speak your mind.” Now, you will do two things. You will either listen to that voice or reject it. That voice speaking to you is always NEUTRAL. The voice you hear in your head that appears to be the devil is that angry, wounded, immature side of you that is stuck at age 3, 5, 8, or even higher. Some can call this wounded part your inner critic or ego. I like to think of it as a wounded child because you were a child when the wound was created. Plus, we all have an inner critic within us. Our cores wound speaking to us and even controlling us at times. What matters most is which one is the dominate force running within you at that given moment. You can ignore that screaming child within you to watch your tongue, to stop trying to please everyone around you – even the narcissist, to not sabotage a healthy relationship, and to not reject a person who is too busy to drop everything and listen to you because the wounded child within you feels insignificant. The more you embrace that supportive and positive voice within you, the more positive experiences you will encounter within your life.
The other subject matter that is important to me is the feeling of CONNECTION. Right now too many people are disconnected and being connected is vital for everyone’s well-being and sanity. Let me give you an example of what I mean – NATURE. There are many places around our beautiful planet that is full of this feeling of deep connection. When you visit the beach, go to a mountain lake, watch the sunset, or even a walk in the woods, you should feel this sense of connection. The energy, frequency and vibration of these places is so soothing, nurturing, healing, and peaceful. Everything is alive and thriving. It is like these magic spots have a huge welcome sign of unconditional love and support. It can feel like it is feeding your soul because in reality it is. Some places are soo healing that it can bring you to tears. And when you cry, it mean you soul or heart felt depleted. It needed a healthy release and renewal. We need to be connected to this life force.
Yet as I was washing my face getting ready for bed, this awareness bubbled to the surface and said, “Type these words. So many people love babies. Why? Babies are pure, innocent, playful, adventurous, fearless, courageous, fighters, funny, authentic, loves unconditionally, and the list just goes on. Babies want and desire to connect with everything and everyone around them. Life is connection. When we ignore a baby, that baby will die. You were born to connect and be a connected being. That is who you are. That is who we all are in the beginning. We just had our heads and hearts filled with information that just might not serve our authentic self. In order to speak your truth, you must strip away the parts that no longer serve your well-being. That is why boundaries are so important. Self belief and confidence is essential. Remember who you are (you are light), remember what you are (you are loved), and remember how you serve (being your authentic self is your gift to the world – good or bad). Yes, good and bad. Without chaos or disagreements, there would be no change. When anything bad or negative happens, declare that only something good will come from this and it will be so. ~ This section came from connecting to the Universal Field of Divine Love.
When you walk or even see a place in nature that has been destroyed by war, forest fires, oil spills in the ocean, or destroying the rain forest, your heart and soul feel it. You can feel sad, depressed, and heart broken because something so magical was violated. We are all connected. Some are more self aware than others. Learning to be more self aware of your surrounds can save your life and another persons. We have seen and heard on the news how someone could just feel that something was off or not right. My brother likes to call it his Spidey senses. You can walk into a coinvent store or bank and something feels off. Maybe the place is being robbed and you can feel the tension, anxiety, and fear inside the building. There are place around the world, like haunted houses or places of extreme trauma or murder. When someone walks into a place that has trapped negative energy imprinted upon it, some people can feel it. Just watch Ghost Adventures and you can learn a lot about various haunted places.
Now…here is my point. Since we are all so overwhelmed with life, trying to just exist, and keep our heads above water at times, we have lost our sense of connecting to another person. How often do we STOP and just be? Do you stop and just lovingly observe another person laughing, playing, or simply enjoying life? Do you need a vacation or just a weekend away to recharge and re-connect? How often do you truly connect to our partner, and experience that intimate moment, which can be so beautiful and precious? Do you make the time to stop and make eye contact, really listen and validate a person’s thoughts, and feelings? Are you making love or just going through the motions of self gratification? And…connection is so important because you can tell when a person is angry when you are connected. Remember, the narcissist is very self aware and when you are disconnected, the narcissist knows it. They might drag you down even deeper into the pit of despair. Some say a narcissist is like a human vampire and just like you, they crave connection. Therefore, some will suck the life out of you just so they can temporarily feel alive.
Why is being connected, learning the map of consciousness, and self-aware important? Because nobody wants to walk into a room with a ticking time bomb that is ready to explode their bottled up anger aimed directly at you. When you become aware of other people’s body language, tone of voice, choice of words, facial expressions, eye movements, and emotional energy levels, then you are able to know how to respond appropriately. Do I engage or disengage? Can I raise them up or do I just need to validate that they are mad and being mad is an okay place to be at this moment because they have every right to be mad. Life is full of choices. Learning these tools to communicate, compassionately observe and connect to people, and listen to your intuition is key. You have such power within you. When you apply these tools to your communication style, you are doing exactly what an empath does. This ability can…
- Deepen your existing relationship
- Support you in finding closure with someone
- Keep you safe or save your life
- Discover how to gauge a situation just by observing, listening, and feeling
- Support another person who struggles with learning healthy communication skills
- You can become empowered and feel more connected
- Repair communication within a relationship, friendship, or troubled marriage
- Have a stronger connection with your children, family members, friends, neighbors, and coworkers
- Help you learn to communicate, listen and observe without triggering a persons core wounds
- Know when to walk away and wait for the tension to defuse
- Learn to be an observer instead of a reactor
- Improve the quality of your life and connection with yourself
So, I recommend slowing down. Try it out. It will be challenging at first, but nobody gets a gold medal the first few tries. You need to practice and apply it. I just gave you the knowledge, applying it gives you wisdom. I hope you will learn to utilize this map of consciousness and listening to intuition because it has been extremely beneficial when communicating with difficult people. Instead of allowing another person to drag you down to their level of force and control, you can learn to stay in your power. Working with them to shift their energy vibration and rise above the anger or disagreements can be so rewarding.
Now I want to point something out. When I create a blog post, I am listening and being guided about what to write or say. I always let the information sit with me until it feels complete. This subject matter did not feel complete last week until now because this last piece of information must be shared. Since we are here to connect with one another and with nature, I have an additional tool to teach you. I did teach this tool to the narcissistic sniper and it transformed his life. I also taught him how to use the map of consciousness. But this last tool is what really added an extra bonus because he was so wounded by his past, he needed something more to shift his state of consciousness from a place of anger, despair, anxiety, and hopelessness. What gave him HOPE and a purpose to LIVE was his young daughter. Therefore, I told him to take pictures of his daughter smiling and laughing. I wanted him to capture the light and LOVE in her eyes for HIM. Then I wanted his wife to record mini videos of him playing, laughing, and loving his daughter. I also wanted him to do the same with his wife playing, laughing and loving their daughter. Now this is key. I told him whenever you get triggered by life events or coworkers, I want to you STOP. Disengage and look at the picture of your daughter with the love and light in her eyes. Just connect to that picture of why and how life is a gift because she is a gift. Next, I wanted him to watch the videos because he has an emotional connection with his daughter and wife. Those videos can lift you up. As you watch the videos, say to yourself out loud, “I am doing this for us.” Say it over and over because that is your TRUTH. You are choosing to be a better man for your daughter, your wife, your marriage, and yourself. He is breaking the cycle of abuse.
I recommend everyone doing this. If you do not have someone special in your life, that is okay. You can have a connection with your pet, a grand parent that passed, the Earth, God, Source, an Angel, a child or sibling that passed, or yourself before you met the narcissistic person. Connection is KEY and connection gives you HOPE.
Once you have that visual connection, you want to create a mantra that speaks and resonates with you. Here are a few examples.
- I can rise above this
- I choose LOVE or Joy
- I choose me
- I am good enough
- I am the presence of peace
- This is only temporary
- I choose life
- This soon will pass
- I am rising above this hate, anger, or disappointment
- I am hopeful
- I am standing in my truth
I hope these tools will support you in open-hearted, self-aware, and connected communication with everyone in your life. The Map Your Emotions for Self Regulation is a powerful tool when you learn to apply it to your daily life. Enjoy!